We all need a reason to believe.

lately it's hard to disconnect

I just want something real.


I want to be good at something. Really good. I put 110% in the things I love, I wish that were enough to get me somewhere in life. I need to figure out what I'm doing after high school and where I'm going. I wish I had motivation. I want to be out of high school, away from all the people surrounded by their on pathetic lives. There's so much more to life if people would just stop and look at it. It's getter harder to deal with, but I try to keep a positive attitude about it. But it is hard. Especially for me. I wish I could open up more to the people around me, but then again I don't. Because most of them don't care about anything I have to say. I want out.





This one's for Katey.

11/18/08

So I've been putting this off cause I have to much to say. I'm going to try to make it short.

I skipped school and waited in line all day in the freeeezing cold. I went with Chelsea, and met up with Katelyn. The line was hilarious and I didn't mind being cold because it was so much fun.
Katey finally got there around 6 and we finalllly met :) :) Even though she couldn't wait with us in line, she still made her way up and we were right next to each other for the entire concert. By the time Jack's came on, I finally made it up to barricade and was soo happy. The show was fucking amazing. Hey Hey Hey We're All Gonna Die. For the first time ever live. And I was there. :)

So we waited in the parking garage for a bit cause it was warrrm, then we went back to the venue to talk to Andrew. I wanted to tell him so many things, but I settled on one that I think covered everything. He signed my TGP and I got a picture with him. It was such a great night. I'm pretty sure there's only one other person who really understands how much that night means to me. She totally gets it. I can't believe how lucky I am.

TOMORROW.

Jack's Mannequin. <3
I haven't written here much, but I will be for sure after the concert.
I'm so excited and can't believe what is going on in my life. It's incredible.

is it bad

that is is exactly how I'm feeling right now?

You're chatting to me, like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing,
Understanding you is making me not want to do.
And think things like: 'I know I should do'

Pumpkin Soup by Kate Nash.

I wish I could tell you how I feeeeeeeel.

ONE WEEK

from today, I will be in Philly. Waiting in line to see Jack's Mannequin for the 7th time. I am soo excited. I also get to meet Katey, for the first time :) It's gonna be a good day.

I come undone

oh yes, I do.

I'm Ready defines my life. I've never connected with a song as much as I have this one. Every single line fits somewhere.

Anyway, I'm going to get my haircut in 45 minutes. Shit. I'm so nervous. It'll be for the best, I want change.

This makes me really happy :)

10days!

I waited by the window.

I don't understand why so many people dislike Miss Delaney.
I'm positive that if I only had to listen to music by Andrew McMahon for the rest of my life, I'd be perfectly fine. I swear, Everything In Transit goes by too fast. I'm obsessed with Sleazy Wednesday. I can and have listened to that song for hours and hours on end.

Welcome to the future, we're all so glad you came.

Attacked me in the laneway

in this town you don't get nowhere

unless you're on a bicycle.

So hip and out of touch

Parked out on a speedway

Just trying not to move

It's only getting harder now

We could engineer a wall that couldn't fall with all this time

My life in technicolor

Can you check the shutters?

Someone get my mother on the phone

She oughta know what I'm up to

Out here in Hollywood you don't need a sweater

Cause the sun feels better

In slow motion

let's take a ride and forget this town tonight

Something crazy happened last night. I didn't have school yesterday and I don't have it today, so I was planning on doing some homework today. Well last night I spent 3 hours doing homework and studying for my chemistry test. I usually neverrrr do homework. If I do, it's in homeroom the day it's due. And I never study. My grades, I guess you could say I get by. Mostly B's. I'm fine with it but my parents are not. I hope after last night something will change and I start caring about school. Cause right now I feel like most of what I'm learning is a waste and will not help me in the future. The future, I need to figure out what I want to do after high school. Right now, I really don't know, I'm not good at anything that I can make a career out of. I also need a job. Something I was supposed to look for yesterday. Oh well.
Today I can focus on writing my letter to Andrew to send to Lysh. 13DAYS. Ahhh the wait went by toooo fast. While I'm soooo happy to go, I don't want it to be over.